sleepy

I've been tired lately. The first two weeks of school are usually a big adjustment for me--between getting back into a normal schedule, waking up early, and learning how to juggle homework for all my new classes, I'm pretty busy, and I don't get a lot of sleep. Also, I went to camp this weekend (photos forthcoming), and at camp I work hard and don't sleep much, but I still have to go to school the next day. As you can imagine, I've been pretty wiped out lately.

Last night God and I were talking about it. [I'll clarify--when I say this I usually mean that I'm telling God about whatever's going on, and He speaks back to my heart either through the Bible, or through clarifying something in my heart or putting an impression of His words there. I often tend to say that "God and I were talking about something," so now you know what I mean by that.]

Anyway, I was telling Him about it and He showed me one of the benefits of being utterly exhausted. When I 'm tired, I'm not very strong. I get emotional inside, even when it's not obvious outside, and sometimes I'm at a loss to even understand why. My patience runs short. I don't have the energy to do things. I tend not to care as much, to not be as passionate. This is just because I'm worn out. I lose my capability to deal with life well.

And when I find myself in that place of weakness, I start understanding what I truly am. I am a small, incapable, and needy human being. When I'm not able to just handle life, I realize my own wretchedness and frailty, and that causes me to realize how much I need a Savior. And that's not a bad thing to realize, because He is all-sufficient, and His strength is shown through my weakness, and His strength bears me up.

Yesterday, He took care of two things that had been stressing me out. I thought I'd simply have to deal with them, but He resolved the problems I was facing, and then turned them into joyful situations. It amazes me, how God not only saves us, but desires to be intimately and intricately involved in our lives. He's so overwhelmingly good to me. I am blown away by His vast kindness and tender care.